Taming the Wild Beast

Is it the human or the iguana who is trainable? Maybe a little bit of both.

When I first met Krammit, he was a tiny thing compared to the dragon lizard he is now. I would pick him up and cuddle him. Then one day, BAM, like a lightning strike, he bit me, tearing a good size, lizard mouth shaped chunk out of my thumb.

No, I didn't fling him against the wall. I calmly held him on my lap, with my blood dripping all over my best jeans, telling others in the room to get me a bandage and to take the lizard.

After that, Krammoit had us all buffaloed. One glare, one whip of the tail, one flying ninja lizard leap, and we backed off. I dropped his food in his dish from a safe distance. When we had to clean his house, my son wore heavy leather gloves to pick up Krammit.

Sometimes Krammit the escape master would push open the top door of his house and hang out in the window or sleep behind the radio. The recapture process went something like this.

"You pick him up."

"No, you pick him up."

"Where's the gloves?"

"You've got longer arms, you get him."

Eventually, one of us would retrieve the wayward iguana who would tell us with hisses and the whipping tail that we were invading his space. He would wriggle and leap out of the holding hand as soon as he saw his house. He'd go to a corner, whip his tail at us and give us the evil eye.

Then one day my son tried something. He held a leaf of Krammit's favorite food over the lizards head. Krammit grabbed the leaf and ripped off a piece. Day by day we'd feed him his collard leaves that way. One day I got braver and tore a bit of the leaf off and Krammmit took it rather gently. We made that a daily routine. Once in a while he'd get greedy and leap toward the leaf. A sharp "No" would calm him down and he would take the leaf gently.

I started really paying attention to his eyes, his body movements,whether he was tense or relaxed. I found a soothing voice would calm him and a quiet "shhhhhh" would turn his eyes from glaring to soft.

One day I tentatively reached out a finger and touched his head. He closed his eyes and let me stroke his head. Then I moved my finger down his body. I could feel the muscles along his rib cage relax. I could massage his choulders and he would lean into it. If I stroked one side of his body, he'd lean that direction. He seemed to really like the attention. We do this several times a day.

Sometimes I'd rest my hand on his body thinking if he could get used to that, maybe he could get used to being picked up and not struggle.

After a week or so of the petting, I gently wrapped my hand around his body, only halfway because he's so big, I can't get my hand all the way around. I lifted him up. No struggle. I held him in a cradled arm so he'd feel secure and his body was supported. He seemed to like it.

PROGRESS! I felt we had climbed a huge mountain and built trust.

He lets me know when I've overdone the picking up thing. Once in a while is ok, but if he wiggles and struggles, he's telling me not now. If he relaxes in my arm, it's a good thing and he's a happy lizard.

He still has his grumpy iguana days. I'm getting better at reading him. If he tells me in his lizard way to back off, I give him his space. Most every day he wants petting at least once. He lets me know by getting on his basking rock, now dubbed the petting rock. When he's there, that's when he wants the strokes and rubs and attention. If he's somewhere else in his house, he wants his alone time.

My computer table is right by his glass house. He watches me as much as I watch him. Sometimes I think he rules this house. He knows he's got us in his lizard hands.

Today has been a "don't touch me day." As I write this, he's in the corner closest to me, watching me watch him. If he ambles over to the petting rock, I'll give him some attention. He's training us well. If he stares at his food dish, I better feed the king. If the dish is in a different place, he reaches out a front hand and slides it where he wants it. Who knew a lizard could be obsessive compulsive about where his food dish should be?

I've known only one other iguana up close and personal. I knew nothing about them really. When I was a 20-something, I'd hang out at a bar called Mother Pearl's in Kansas City. It was named after Janis Joplin. One of regulars would bring his nearly full size iguana into the pub and set the beast on the bartop. The iguana would make a beeline for me and sit in front of me and I'd pet him all night. My friend said the nights I didn't come in, his iguana was sad.

I never imagined one would be in my life,. My pets have always been of the furry variety, horses, dogs and a cat now and then. My other son has a pet boa. I'm not too enthralled with Stewie, the boa. But I was delighted when I moved here and found an iguana at this son's house.

I've learned a lot about them, their needs and habits over the months I've been here. As with horses, every day is a learning experience. I've learned they have moods, likes and dislikes. He even has colors he doesn't like... he's not too happy when I wear hot pink or my son wears red. That's when we're most likely to get the flying ninja lizard reaction from him.

It is like living with Animal Planet in our house. Krammit is amazing, interesting, and full of character. But I have to keep in mind that no matter how cuddly he might be one day, the next day or even the next moment might be different. They can only be somewhat domesticated. They are wild animals and an iguana keeper must remember that. With their strong, serrated jaws, and lightning quick reactions, they can inflict a lot of damage on human flesh if they want to. Over 50 some years of horse keeping, I've learned that no matter how sweet and kind and smart they are, they are prey animals and can react unpredicably in some situations. I have to respect the power of a 1,000 pound animal. Likewise, I have to respect the wildness of a 5-pound lizard.

If I ever move from here, I will want an iguana of my own. I'm totally hooked now. Amazing creatures.